Thursday, 28 November 2013

MY religion- part 1: OH MY GAH

im not a religious person, theres no reason for me to be. religion is usually pressured onto you by family. i dont have that problem (not to say its a bad thing, or maybe it is). so being a religious man is my choice, and i choose to keep my options open.

what i do like about most religious beliefs is that they all come with their own sets of decree. rules are good, good for regulation. but the punishments are always a little over the top. going to hell, raped by satan, reborn as an animal, whatever. those suck, big time.

there are bits and pieces of each religion that i find fascinating. id like to share them for a while, and in the end i'll imagine my own religion, perfectly catered to my own personality. you can all join my cult some day.

there's a lot to write so im gonna make this a mini-series (hopefully one that doesnt die after first issue). it's already getting kinda long so i'll start with a shorter post. so without further ado, here's part 1: OH MY GAH

according to my bullshit generator, the term oh my god comes from Christianity, which will be the main topic of part 1. here's what intrigues me about Christianity:
  1. heaven & hell- first of all, the afterlife, that sounds fun. anyway, i always wondered how big is heaven/hell, who's there, will it ever overpopulate? and what are you supposed to do?  i just imagine that if i go to heaven i can be like "fuck ya, suck my dick and make me a bacon sandwich while i play video games all day". heaven must be full of fat, lazy, assholes.
  2. angels & demons- the populace of heaven and hell, aside from the gods, are the angels and demons. but are there any on Earth right now, just watching what we're doing. am i being watched right now. buncha creepers, heaven and hell are populated with pervs.
  3. apocalypse- so apparently god has a date on his calendar where he takes all the nice people of Earth and saves them somewhere. then leaves all the nasty people to eternal torment and death. basically starting with a clean slate. that seems like a real dick move.
    so far everyone is heaven seems like a real ass, besides Santa Claus, which brings me to #4.
  4. motha fuckin Christmas, presents and holidays, hell yea
lets end the list here then. overall i gotta say, the Christians that i know are pretty nice, but the whole concept seems pretty harsh to me. so id rather not be a Christian. unless heaven is actually a real place, and i need to be a Christian for admittance, then count me in!

stay tuned for the next issue of MY religion, where i will blog about one of the more fascinating "religions" in my mind. 

oh and i'll just leave this video here too... oh my gah!

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

horoscope: Cancer

iv already talked about my own horoscope, Libra, and i gotta say i enjoyed writing that blog. not just cause i get to talk about myself like a god, but horoscopes are indeed interesting. so here's another one.

the only other horoscope i have some familiarity with would be Cancer, so let's jump right to it!

typical traits: associated with crabs (i'll go into this later lol), loyal, emotional and sensitive. now for the breakdown!

crabby, like crabs, not like old people: just like how the fair and just Libra is symbolized by scales, there is a reason crabs are the zodiac symbol for Cancerians. there are a few parts to this one.

a) walking sideways: Cancers typically dont look towards the direction they are moving, they look forward while they move sideways. its more like a metaphor to a Cancer's psychology, not a physical trait (otherwise people everywhere would be walking around sideways and would look pretty retarded). when you see a Cancer it looks like they're focused on one thing, but they're actually going towards something else. it's often used as a defense mechanism. for instance he/she could be judging you in their mind, meanwhile they keep a friendly exterior.

b) always on the defensive: whether they want it or not, they will always have their hard ass exoskeleton shell on. it stands for their defensive side where they dont tend to share a real emotional connection with others, giving off an impression otherwise. but for the lucky ones who get to see behind the shell, it's soft and juicy and tastes good. could do with some crab meat right now. ahem anyway.. MOVING ON

loyal: you could say crabs are loyal too, but im just gonna stop talking about crabs for now.

most people say Cancers are patriotic, or family oriented, which are both true, but it all comes down to loyalty. why are you patriotic? because youre loyal to your country. why are you family oriented? because youre loyal to your parents (since as their child you need to carry on the family legacy).

of course they are also loyal to friends as well, especially the closer ones who have broken through their emotional defenses. Cancers have large pincers and are not afraid to use them in defense of their loved ones. but be warned, a Cancer's loyalty is in most cases mutual. if you betray a Cancer in any way, they will consider your loyalty broken, and will turn their pincers at you. Cancers need to be cherished and should not be fucked with.

emotional and sensitive: linking back to the defensive shells, inside is soft juicy meat, that's where the emotion and sensitivity lies. once you crack that shell, once you open those emotional flood gates, the sensitivity just pours out like a landslide. and once you open those doors, it's hard to get them closed. apologies for the negativity, but this is not considered a bad thing. but in comparison to some other zodiac signs, a Cancer will really let it rain, emotionally. lol

so there you have it, the gist of my opinion on the Cancer zodiac sign. gotta say this was a joy to write! but Libra was still more fun

Monday, 18 November 2013

dream log #01: first of no more to come

had a particularly strange dream this morning, so here's a blog of what went down.

Part I:
was in some kind of post apocalypse world, city atmosphere, tall skyscrapers with glass exteriors and neon lights. not the lively kind of hustle bustle like downtown HK. it was dark and gloomy, like all the buildings were looming in on you. kinda like gotham city at night you could say.

parts of the city were fenced off, cause there were these rabid crazy infected people trying to get in and kill/eat you. i dont really know. they were like the guys in 28 days later.

Shaq and Sam L Jackson starred in my dream, they were brothers. SLJ had his pulp fiction look, but he soon got torn in half, and ended up like the android guy from ALIENS.

Shaq went on a rampage with a vengeance, and disappeared into a crowd of baddies while killing them off.

nobody that appeared in my dream was anyone i knew from real life, besides one guy. he had cosplayed as some anime character i'v never seen before, and was taking photos with a bunch of balloons. he gave me his balloons and ran away later...

some things happened in between, and we all somehow ended up in a swimming pool. in this particular pool there were these mutant serpent like fish, like eels. it would bite and latch onto your head, and teleport you away. at this point the dream setting started turning into a movie, and i was watching from third person and was no longer part of it.

eventually i did wake up, and thought the world was still ending, realizing it was a dream i went back to bed.

Part II:
totally new setting, i was at the beach with my brother (who was portrayed by Adam Sandler) and my mum (who was some random blonde model).

for some reason we had a bunch of guitars, and i had to strap them all on as well left. my family disappeared and i ended up lying on some roof with this girl, she was apparently my girlfriend. this girl was really cute, like SUPER cute. i couldn't recognize her from anyone i'v met or seen in the real world. but anyway she was there. last thing i can remember i was teaching her algebra.

eventually i woke up from a bunch of group chat notifications going off in the morning. raged for a bit cause it was still an hour before my alarm goes off and just ended up on/off sleeping.

so there's my dream, i hope i never have it again =_="